recent thoughts part 3
And here we are again…
The past couple of weeks were quite hectic, so I did not get an adequate amount of time to focus on my research. Nonetheless, it has always been in the back of every waking thought. Quite overwhelming if I am being honest. Too much uncertainty!
I had the opportunity to attend the CSM graduate show on July 3rd. I remember wandering through the building to look at all the projects and the wide variety of interventions the graduates worked on.
It was interesting to walk through as I kept thinking about mine. What am I going to do, where, and how? Or the constant voice in my head going “but” or “what if”. The doubt still exists if I am being transparent. The thought of being unsuccessful, in whichever way I define success in this project.
Previously, I had reframed my original question to: How can awareness of our state of mind enable us to explore radical visibility?
That question aimed to understand how we can radically acknowledge our thoughts. For example, if someone has the dream to model but is afraid of being in front of the camera. Or an alcoholic aiming to become sober. The underlying question that kept coming to mind is, What is the barrier between who we are versus who we want to be?
So once again, I am reframing my question. My new question proposes: How can we identify the barrier that exists between who we are and who we want to be?
Last week, I was sitting on the DLR on my way home. I had a shoot the next day in which I was directing and styling, so I was simply going through my mental checklist to ensure all was taken care of. Of course, before any shoot, it is natural for nerves to kick in. While I was going through my thoughts, I remember looking up and seeing a sign on the train.
“Trust your own voice, ignore the white noise”
Wow. Seems like a pretty cliché sign, but for some reason that sign found me in the moment I needed it.
It’s interesting because we live in a world full of white noise. There are constantly voices all around telling you who you SHOULD be or what you SHOULD be doing. The word “should” is constantly being thrown around like a game of popcorn.
I came across this Reddit thread while researching and found an interesting comment from a user. They mention, “I have decided to ignore any sentence with the word 'should' in it. Should is what others or society wants you to be. Live a life of who you actually are…” (Neo1881, 2026).
It’s interesting because the word “should” is this constant white noise that many of us have fallen victim to. What does self-authenticity look like with and without this white noise?
This word is one of the biggest barriers between who we are versus who we want to be, creating this chain reaction that eventually needs to break.
What is the difference between the man who is addicted to drinking versus the version of him that is sober? Or the person who is afraid to be in front of the camera versus not? How can we identify the white noise that serves as a limitation for ourselves? Realistically, that limitation is just a self-inflicted thought, right?
Sources
u/[Ok-Ocelot-774]. (2025) How do you bridge the gap between who you should be and who you actually are? Reddit. Available at: https://www.reddit.com/r/InsightfulQuestions/comments/1qsuywv/how_do_you_bridge_the_gap_between_who_you_should/
